Me: "Sam, I've heard it's called a 'healing crisis." Sam: "Oh yeah? It's gonna be a healing crisis when I punch you in the face."

-Sam weighs in on my shoulder feeling worse after acupuncture 

"You're talking about extremes. One extreme is orthopedic surgery, the other is Willie Nelson's $@&?! hippie brother."

-Sam on my acupuncture treatment to avoid the orthopedic doc