Sam: Wow, Rex, you've been here every day this week! Rex: Yeah, that probably means I won't come again for a few months. Sam: GD it, Rex! See, why do you make me take the Lord's name in vain?

- Sam and Rex having a conversation about her...inconsistent class attendance

"I was gonna wear tube socks today. If I did, I would take one off, fill it with [round counters] and beat the shit out of you with it. Prison style."

-Sam, who is tired of my injuries