Friday, February 7, 2014
- Sam, after Kristin fell on her ass during snatches
"They're probably not scared of me cuz our interacting with each other. They probably view me as a panda bear, but instead of having black circles around my eyes it turned into a beard. You've turned me into a panda bear. That hurts my street cred, bro."
- Sam to Beth on why her kids aren't afraid of him
Thursday, February 6, 2014
- Sam, on Jess MM
"Rex, you're an athlete, and by athlete I mean 'Idontlistentomybodyeverandmakesamslifealivinghellthelete."
- Sam, self explanatory
"Good thing I douse my beard with anti-flammable avocado oil conveniently laced with rose merry extract."
- Sam, on the flammability of his beard