"When you stand, it's like you're trying to crack a walnut between your ass cheeks."

- Sam on proper form

"Got to get mom swole. Get mom buff."

- Sam suggesting in my paleo journal that I add a meal for optimal muscle development

"Pull your testicles out of your purse."

- Sam "encouraging" me to get over my whining about being sore.

"Fuckin dig it."

- Sam's notes in red on my paleo journal. Can't say I've ever had a teacher write that while grading my paper before.

"If your nipples don't touch the ground, I will jump on your back."

- Sam addressing the class regarding chest-to-deck expectations (Melissa)

"You just Tony Horton-ed."

- Sam commenting on me lifting the bar for push press. Still have no idea what that means, but since Tony Horton is hot, I'm assuming it's good.

"I'm giving you the 20lb slam ball cause I hate you. ha just fuckin with ya."

- Sam, who must be going through beer withdrawal