"I'm gonna OG the shit outta that pick up."

- Sam, upon receiving instructions to pick Jess' kids up from school

"Haha hookers are funny. Kinda like baby seals learning how to swim in shallow water. Weird. But fun."

- Sam. Just Sam, to sis Ashley

"This is a little 'Sammy Says Sesh.' "

- Sam, directing mobility, which seemed an awful lot like yoga to me.

Sam: "Rack it up." Me: "Whyyyyy?" Sam: "When you look like you're taking a poop just squatting with a 33lb bar, you're doing mobility. Now, rack it up."

-Sam.  Who was probably right.

Sam's response when I asked for info on gloves for pull ups:

Me (whining): I hate toes to bar. They make me feel like an asshole!! Sam: Maybe you ARE an asshole.

- Sam, he always knows how to make you feel better.

"Get under control. This isn't slip n slide."

-Sam to Macie on back squat