"If I saw them littering would have karate chopped their shit in the neck. That's one of the places that'll do the most damage. But now somebody'd probably turn me in for child abuse. It was much better when there weren't so many laws. "

- Sam on children after finding candy wrappers in the boxes (thanks, Jess!)

"Don't Think Just Move and Let's All Crush Shit."

- Sam on 13.1

"I'm not a momma bird that needs to throw up in your mouth anymore."

Sam encouraging kallie to be more independent

"That's fine, but do mobility. This is not a cigar bar."

- Sam, after I explained to him that I'd rather "do mobility" than the wod

"How ya feelin? Want me to tell you how ya feel?"

- Sam as I stood there wondering if I should increase my C&J weight

"I'm about to shove my vans so far up your ass I'll need to buy new shoes because of you."

- Sam threatening Jenn as per usual

"I could punch you in the stomach and you could still do a thruster at 53."

- Sam on why he wanted me to go lighter for 75 thrusters today