"Is that gonna blow your ass out?"

- Sam after I suggested going higher weight on goblet squats

Beth: "Feeling better today, Sam?" (after feeling crappy two days ago) Sam: "Oh, yeah." Marty "You can tell because he doesn't have an attitude this morning." Sam: "Suck it, Marty."

- Sam, charming as usual at 6am

"You're in my morning bubble."

- Sam to an athlete who dared stand as close as 4ft away at 6am wod (Thanks, Beth!)

"Take care of the little shit. The materialistic shit will take care of itself."

- Sam on why it's not important to compare myself to everyone else on the board.

"When you stand, it's like you're trying to crack a walnut between your ass cheeks."

- Sam on proper form

"Got to get mom swole. Get mom buff."

- Sam suggesting in my paleo journal that I add a meal for optimal muscle development

"Pull your testicles out of your purse."

- Sam "encouraging" me to get over my whining about being sore.