"Hard work and lifting heavy shit cures all and makes negative people look like assholes."

- Sam, helping me celebrate hitting the "impossible" dream of a pull up

"Enough with the bullshit. Put your hands down on the floor."

- Sam, after listening to me whine about not liking to be upside down on hspu

"You're giving me a heart murmer."

- Sam on nutrition questions (about the 498th of the week)

"No stripper pole deadlifts."

- Sam, while demonstrating in oddly and disturbingly good stripper form