Sam: Are you still sick? Me: No, just a little low energy. Sam: Good, go slow and don't pass out. If you pass out in here, I'll take care of you. If someone comes in and says you passed out on the run, I'll probably say, "Sounds like the city's problem."

-Sam, ever so gentle and understanding after I was off for two weeks 

Me: "Sam, I've heard it's called a 'healing crisis." Sam: "Oh yeah? It's gonna be a healing crisis when I punch you in the face."

-Sam weighs in on my shoulder feeling worse after acupuncture 

"You're talking about extremes. One extreme is orthopedic surgery, the other is Willie Nelson's $@&?! hippie brother."

-Sam on my acupuncture treatment to avoid the orthopedic doc

"Members of the gym have volunteered to run class while all the coaches are out of town. Make sure to listen to them as they’ll be in charge while we are gone."

-Ok, Dad, we promise to be nice to the babysitters. :)

"Dude. Don't touch my coffee. That's like playing with a man's dick."

- Sam to Ricky after Ricky dared move his coffee cup at 6am

"I can't stop staring at Ricky's butt to make sure his tights are anatomically correct."

- Sam on Ricky's very special tights

"Can someone just give me a razor blade?"

-Sam, on his explanation of a lift to an athlete who shouldn't need any explanation