"Remember a couple of months ago when I said that was the most perfect squat you had ever done? Forget that. You just did the complete opposite."

- Sam, expressing his disdain for my (admittedly horrible) squats in warm up

"How's your shit?"

- Sam's gentle way of asking Macie (or anyone) how their injuries are feeling

"Don'tchoo be lookin at my boy like dat."

- Sam to Macie, who was looking at the whiteboard with her hand on her hip

"If I saw them littering would have karate chopped their shit in the neck. That's one of the places that'll do the most damage. But now somebody'd probably turn me in for child abuse. It was much better when there weren't so many laws. "

- Sam on children after finding candy wrappers in the boxes (thanks, Jess!)

"Don't Think Just Move and Let's All Crush Shit."

- Sam on 13.1

"I'm not a momma bird that needs to throw up in your mouth anymore."

Sam encouraging kallie to be more independent

"That's fine, but do mobility. This is not a cigar bar."

- Sam, after I explained to him that I'd rather "do mobility" than the wod