"You're putting on a clinic of what NOT to do."

- Sam referencing an athlete's double-under technique

"It's like you're a little bird...trying to fly the nest..."

- Sam, hoping mommy-talk will possibly help my suck OS form???????

"I just Alcatrazed your ass."

- Sam referring to slitting Jenn's throat with his car keys for whining for an hour

"You look like you're taking a shit in China. This isn't Taiwan-style."

- Sam on a little tooo much range of motion

"it's like a little gremlin...kicking me in the balls... when you don't get full range of motion. cough."

-Sam on back squats to Melissa

"This will not be a social hang out venue/chatty cathie power hour."

-Sam's open gym rules

"You're shortening my life span. I came in here at 26 and I'm leaving at 65."

-Sam to an athlete wrestling with bands (props jenn!)

"That's because she eats sugar and shits candy canes."

- Sam on why I smell worse than Martha Stewart (don't ask)

"If you insist on feeling bad about this, tell yourself to fuck off and listen to me. I know what I'm talking about."

-Sam addressing my meltdown after a killa WOD

"€£+*^%#. $&&%#^ $&@%<.

-Sam on someone who questioned his math on splits.

"Word. Don't step in shit or I'll kill you."

-Sam complimenting ("?") my new kicks

"Ok, but that would be cheating. Like wearing Depends on a 5K."

-Sam on Rex's kb balancing (53lb I might add! Go girl!)

"What's with that lift? Did you just buy a 1 year membership to Gold's Gym?"

- Sam on his disdain for D's muscle snatch form